bleak and pretty

Something nice that happened to me today

A dear friend who's been working overseas came back home! I was the first one to meet her at the airport. It was also my first time to visit said airport, and I was absolutely disappointed by how shitty it was.

It was a hot day, too.

Anyway, she took me out for lunch. (I hardly ever get another person to treat me out for lunch! Yay yay!) We talked about our lives, smiled and laughed over Chinese food, and before we parted ways, she gave me a box of chocolate truffles and a brand new shirt. She even gave me money to pay for my cab. (Can't remember the last time anybody gave me money, hahahah!)

Then I came home, slept, then dragged myself to work.

How's work today?

Pretty usual, still half-assing it, and still getting positive feedback because I've mastered “half-assing and still providing good numbers to my bosses.”

Anything that you realized today?

Not much, really, just putting some things into perspective – while SO was making babies with baby mama #2, I was still in elementary school or listening to Taylor Swift back when she was still a country artist.

That's, ugh, a really long time ago. It shouldn't really make sense if I'm the least bothered about it. He doesn't even remember his kids' birthdays. I don't know if that's a dick parenting move, or if I should feel sorry for his poor memory, or if it's a totally normal thing for dads.

I guess I should just get off of it.

I must admit — I am not excited to meet his kids. In fact, I'll be happy to just pretend that they didn't exist. He actually offered to try to introduce them to me the last time I was over at their house, and I was like, fuck no – you see the kids that you haven't see in years first.

I know, it's pretty vile, it's an ugly situation, but fuck it, really, I wanna be done with it.

Again, this all transpired back when Taylor was still a country artist. She still exists, yes, as much as the kids are still alive, but Taylor the country singer is just...ancient history.

Fuck ancient history.

How's solo living again? Did you manage to move to your new apartment yet?

I like how I can pretty much consume porn whenever I want and sleep in total peace. I like how I can skip meals because I don't feel like eating, and that I can eat all the garbage food that I want without getting judged.

I'm still not regularly exercising yet. I will focus on the self-improvement department once I've moved to my new apartment...will start working on that tomorrow...gotta pack all my essentials and leave all my shit and garbage behind.

I'm so excited.

What do you wanna do all day today?

Reddit.

Any five-second plans that you made today?

Make a more organized, insightful, actually useful, and less unpredictable write.as blog.